Should I talk to her? Or should I pretend like I didn’t see her? After all, she’s sitting on a windowsill with her friend. “Look straight. It will be fine.” She probably will think you didn’t see her. Or maybe she didn’t notice you either. Maybe she did, though, and maybe she cares…
Maybe she cares that you can Snapchat her every day, have deep conversations, sync so well with her ideas, but then, you see her in a crowded place, and it’s like she’s non-existent.
Put yourself into her mindset damn. She has pimples too. She’s a human, with hair. Bit more than you. What’s so scary. Your life won’t end, but yet… but yet you don’t do it, you don’t do it because you care too much by now that any decision could result in a nonperfect result.
Nonperfect, that’s the thing. Technology tends to hide our flaws. When we talk to people online, we start to think that that person is perfect, without flaws, and they are not, but you don’t know that because you talked to them only on the internet, you don’t see the flaws everyone has.
See the Flaws.
Some celebrities are terrible, they are terrible human beings, and you know what? That’s okay, perfectly fine, just because you saw someone in a TV show play out a character that you fall in love with for their attributes does not automatically make that person great in real life. There’s no contract that says you must be nice. I don’t like many people due to their behavior, but why are we judging them based on a character they played. We assume too much. Spend a week with anyone, and you will start to see their flaws. I can guarantee you that. And once you see someone’s flaws, you will break that barrier. You will be able to talk to them. But it’s hard, and the longer you talk online, and not in real life, the harder it will get. That barrier will keep on growing.
Technology Destroyed Our Confidence.
Take it back to the 1960’s. People would have to go out to talk, there wasn’t a choice, you either talk to someone in real life, or you can forget about it. Now? It’s all online. You start a Snapchat streak and by the time you know it, you told everything interesting about you, when you meet that person, you don’t really have much to share, and you also already care too much for that person, but since you are too shy, you don’t really do anything.
“Go to a pub, go to a club. Stand. Watch that hot girl standing alone five meters away from you. Turn on your phone. Text a randomer. Pretend that girl beside you doesn’t even exist. Back it up with “I’m not drunk enough to talk to her,” or “She’s probably taken…” Wake up and marvel to your friends about that girl you have never seen or talked to… but found on Tinder. “
Waiting for the Perfect Moment.
A truly nonperfect result will be achieved if you don’t try anything. Waiting for that perfect moment when no one is around, where it’s quite, where your hair is perfect, on a day you feel confident, no. Do it when it isn’t convenient as waiting for a perfect situation rarely ever gives you a result. This “perfect” thing happens in movies, your life isn’t a movie. Your life, however, is like a movie in a sense, you are the director, you are in charge of how things look.
If you wait around for that perfect occasion, you will never talk to that girl. Perfect doesn’t exist, it’s a myth. We can always do better, it’s simply about doing, doers are the ones that win. There are many people out there that make you think “Damn, I’m so much better looking than him, how is that girl with him.” Perfection limits you.
I have a friend that joined a marketing course recently, he’s struggling to get clients. I asked him how many people did he contact. “10.” And there’s your answer. People wait around writing that perfect script, setting the perfect mood, but they don’t realize one thing. Numbers like 10 don’t mean anything. If you expect to nail a customer after one email, if you expect to nail talking to a woman after your first time, if you expect to make the perfect impression on someone after the first time talking, then you are looking at life the wrong way. It doesn’t work like that. It takes countless of tries before you achieve anything.
If you don’t talk to her today, forget about it. Move on. You don’t want it bad enough. If I was pointing a gun at the person you care about the most in this world, would you procrastinate? No, you would act and do whatever is necessary. Do it, or stop complaining about someone else being with her, my teacher once said to me, that if I don’t do it, I will only wonder, what it could have been.
- Talking too much online at first.
- Waiting for the perfect moment.
- Seeing that person as a “perfect” individual.